overcoming a fear.

for those who read this blog (to be honest, i’m not sure who does), you’ll know that i haven’t updated in awhile.

my beloved home country (:

in short, i’ve gone back to singapore for three months. then i came back to melbourne to ten days to move houses – say hello to a brand new apartment! and then i went back to singapore again to celebrate chinese new year with my family. (:

during my first stint in singapore, i had the privilege of being a marketing intern at one of the largest recruitment firms in the world. frankly, it was my first foray into the working world and it was an eye-opening experiences to say the least. but i was super blessed to work under the best bosses one could ever ask for. they refused to let me fetch coffee and spend my days in front of the photocopy machine. instead they taught me to push myself to my limits, to learn negotiation skills, to make mistakes and learn from them (and hopefully never make them again).

in the end, i was definitely sad to go. but everything good thing has to come to an end, and i do hope to stay in touch with my incredible bosses. (:

somehow this summer i lost my writing mojo.

yes, that may sound trivial but not being able to describe something as simple as a beautiful wedding was slowly killing me inside.

along the way, i bought into the lie that i can’t write. and so i gave up. because giving up is easy, and reading my past posts was easier than digging up photos and writing a half-hearted post that i would not be proud to put up here.

towards the end of my summer, one of my friends sent me the link to a blog that belongs to one of my high school seniors. i’d visited her blog before on a couple of occasions and was always in awe of her writing style and her willingness to be so open about her private life.

but this time it was different. i read her post on not settling. and even though her post was about not settling for second best, as i was reading it off my iPhone screen after a particularly impactful church service, i felt tears spring to my eyes.

for the first time in a long while, i asked myself: what are you doing? you know you can write. you know that it is not something you do, but it is a gift given to you by the almighty God. yes, you may not be able to write as well as others. you may never even be famous. but it is something you can do.

it reminded me of the parable of the talents in the Bible.

Matthew 25:14-30
The Parable of the Bags of Gold

“Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.

“After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them.The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

“The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

“Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’

“His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

“‘So take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

i’ve heard it preached that it really wasn’t the fact that the servant who was given one bag of gold was wicked. it was what he didn’t do with what was given to him.

and so, my dear readers, whoever you are, here’s something i’d like to share with you.

this blog is all about overcoming a fear. i’m putting my work out there for all to read and criticise. today, i’ve decided to take a step forward and tell you a little more about who i am. part of this is trying to be open about my life. treat yourself to brunch isn’t all about eating and making merry – although that is important. but it’s about the joys and miseries of life, and a promise of hope that comes in the form of laughter, love, and maybe a cupcake. (:

hope can come in the form of a cupcake!

thus, i’ve decided to continue writing. it’s something i can’t quite live without. there will be posts about my family, about food, and well food is an inescapable part of my life anyway.

i hope you had a fabulous summer (: and i look forward to writing about mine for you.

lots of love,
diane

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One Reply to “overcoming a fear.”

  1. Hullo!! I stumbled across this blog randomly (I already forgot how) but I like it! :) and yeah I agree you have a gift for writing so I just wanted to encourage you to keep doing that :) I love how you share your faith too. I know its hard to share the faith while in the media industry, but don’t worry :) you’re not alone :)

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